something to be blinded by

"What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us" -A.W. Tozer

He used this quote to speak to me today. As I came before him, a bit overwhelmed and restless, He decided to take it back to the beginning... Asked me gently, 'Well... What do you think of when you think of me?' 

As someone who needs to remind herself quite often that God is my Shepherd who only leads me to green pastures, I thought I knew... Yes, You are my Shepherd... You want the best for me... But He wanted me to know something deeper.  He told me that it is a tremendously powerful thing, what we think of, and what we feel, how we feel, when we think about being with Him. As we focus on / am overcome by the bliss of being in His presence,  overwhelmed by His goodness and worthiness... the side-thoughts, anxieties, about how this movement is going... about whether or not we're really ready to 'pay the price' to folllow Him wherever... these things all fade. 

[Not only do these things fade, but how we feel and what we are overcome by when we think of Him, is prophetic of what others will see when we show Him to them.  What we feel in our hearts when we think of God... Of course it is only the Holy Spirit that can convict, and it is the Father who has been pursuing relentlessly, and Jesus who they will fall in love with, but I think as intercessors and His children whom He calls to sit with Him in the heavenly realms (Ephesians is crazy), He wants us to know just how much we are involved in not only shifting the atmospheres but also moving others' hearts towards Him.]

I was overwhelmed as I realized that He went through a violent death, went through all the trouble of 'Word became flesh' and dwelled among us, because of His love for us. It started with love, and it will end with love. Something that we all have heard... But He gave me a fresh heart revelation and I found myself praying for our group that we'd be 'blinded by His love'.  Wait... blinded? Don't we usually sing that eyes will be opened through Christ? Ahah.. 

He kindly revealed to me some of the things I felt anxious towards- growing in boldness, the 'cost', other fears, how it would look like... But that if I was to be so 'blinded' by His love, I would not even be thinking/worrying about these... His love is definitely ;alskfakds (fill in the blank) enough to be blinded by. Blinded to the things of this world. I came into my dorm and looked up 'blinded' in the dictionary (haha): 

1. done without being able to see/ without being in possession of certain information

2. lacking perception / discernment 

3. not controlled by reason or judgment

4. not governed by purpose 

Reading it in His upside-down Kingdom perspective, being 'blinded' by His love makes it possible that we don't even notice the enemy's attacks... We can't even see what 'ridiculous'/'threatening' things we are facing and overcoming. It is definitely not controlled by our reason or judgment, some of our choices will definitely seem to be 'lacking perception' to the world (ex// praying for healing, going into communities who really don't seem too open to Christians, forgiving...)... And if we were truly blinded by His love, we would not be governed by our own smaller purposes than His. 

Jesus was definitely blinded by His love for us. The Father was blinded to send His only son for sure. The Creator/Story-writer was too... And if the sovereign God was... is...  'blinded' by His love for us... ;alskdfj;aklsd.

-s